I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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