i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
