I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's shark week go big or go home
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
