CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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