Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
