As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
