my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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