His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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