Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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