I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
