Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
