The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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