I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
