i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
