I feel like I'm in dance class right now
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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