Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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