Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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