So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
