I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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