shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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