how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
