you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
