Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
