You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
