we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
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My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
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Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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