He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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