I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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