I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
