You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
