how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
