how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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