i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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