then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
