It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
