she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
