That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
