ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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