So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
