i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
