I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize