I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
