i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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