He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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