Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
