Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
