why didn't you poke me back
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
