How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
