About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Randomize
