he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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