I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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