Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
