You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize