Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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