To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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