I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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