brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
