i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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