I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
