The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
