i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
