So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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