i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
