Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My feet surprised me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
