i just had sex bonerless
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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