First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
