tell your sister to shave her snatch
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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