Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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