id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
